Send Help
Synopsis: A boss and a mistreated employee are marooned on a deserted island.
Send Help is a stranded-on-an-island story. For most of humans’ existence people had passed-down knowledge of how to survive: what to forage, how to hunt and how to make shelter. It’s not our fault that most of us don’t know how to do these things now. Here’s a list of blame: the establishment of agriculture/animal husbandry, the dawn of civilization in Mesopotamia, urbanization (with its job specialization), capitalism and industrialization. People who want to farm and grow their own food today are priced out by agribusiness. Fortunately, I’m all set because I know how to water my windowsill herbs.
You know who didn’t have a windowsill herb garden? Robinson Crusoe. In 1719 English writer Daniel Defoe’s novel Robinson Crusoe was published. The protagonist is marooned on an island in the South Pacific, hundreds of miles off the Chilean coast. There was an audience for the book. Even that long ago, English people (who were literate and well-off enough to have the time and money for books) would have the same wonder and fear for how a person without supplies/tools could survive on a deserted island.
My first encounter of castaway stories was as a school kid, reading Lord of the Flies by William Golding. In the book, a group of English schoolboys are stranded on a tropical island. At first, the boys would be glad to be spared the cruelties of their schoolmasters, but then they had to contend with figuring out how to survive. There are mean boys and boys who are decent human beings. This is something we saw in the English boy band One Direction. Obvi, Harry Styles would be the nice option if his public persona of warmth and chill are an accurate representation of the real Harry. If you believe the tabloids, Zayn would be a bad boy – he supposedly pushed his baby mama’s mother. So, who you are stuck with can mean the difference between life and death.
Cinema, unsurprisingly, adapted the famous novels along with making movies like The Swiss Family Robinson and Cast Away. SFR painted being castaways as great fun with the kids riding ostriches around. And their multi-level tree house was very cool– very glamporous. But in Cast Away, poor Tom Hanks can barely feed himself and his only companion is a volleyball named Wilson. Still, it was a break from his problematic son Chet who would go on to popularize his ridiculous ‘White Boy Summer.’
Send Help begins in an American office where Linda toils away crunching numbers. The CEO, who recognized her intelligence and business savvy, said he planned on promoting her soon. It’s not a good work environment for Linda. The other workers shun her because she eats messy tuna sandwiches and wears dowdy clothing. When she goes overboard trying to ingratiate herself with her colleagues, they cringe and walk away from her. Pretty rude, but it gets worse. The gross finance bros with their expensive watches and dumb suspenders openly mock her. The new boss, Bradley (Dylan O’Brien from Teen Wolf), son of the former CEO, blocks her from an important meeting and takes credit for her work. Otherwise, he is clowning around with his bros or showing off his gorgeous fiancée, Zuri (Edyll Ismail).
Bradley takes charge by giving Linda’s deserved promotion to his former frat brother, Donovan (Xavier Samuel. Linda had been so excited, dreaming about how the promotion would improve her life. At her apartment she eagerly told her cockatiel bird how everything was looking up as she settled in to watch her favorite show, Survivor. The reality tv show first aired in 2000, recording the troubles and backstabbing of a group of people who elect to compete against each other, trying to be the ‘last’ survivor standing on the island they are dumped on. As far as I know, no one has ever killed another competitor. I’m assuming that producers don’t let anyone starve, but I’m not sure.
Alright, so Linda is incredibly nebbish-y and homely, so homely. Her unattractiveness is telegraphed by unfashionable glasses and messy hair. But you can’t fool me! Linda is portrayed by the talented and beautiful actor of The Notebook, Rachel McAdams, who won Ryan Gosling’s heart in the movie and for real back in 2004. The filmmakers tried to play down her looks in the fantastic Spotlight without success.
Anyway, Linda’s horrible boss can’t stand the sight of her but realizes that he will need her expertise in an important meeting that’s scheduled in Bangkok. He invites Linda on the business trip, telling her that he’s giving her a chance to prove herself.
Days later, Linda, bursting with enthusiasm, boards the private jet along with her horrible boss and a few other finance bros, including the guy who just got promoted. On the flight, Linda works diligently while the guys amuse themselves by making jokes about her. I have a feeling that the joke may be on them…
So, there is trouble over the Gulf of Thailand. The plane crashes—scary! Linda survives, clutching flotsam (or jetsam). She washes up on a deserted island. A beautiful, lush island that would be a great site for a season of Survivor. I’m sure developers would be ruining it with over development if it weren’t so remote.
Linda quickly goes into survivor mode. She sites a place on the beach and prepares large seed shells to catch rain water. Already, I’d say that she ‘s is a better place than on the jet with the harassing men. But—what’s this? Someone else washed up on shore. Rushing over to gently turn over the alive, but unconscious survivor…ugh, it’s the horrible boss.
Linda manages to revive him and helps him to a stand of palms, being careful of his injured leg. She sets to shading him with a lean-to and hustles to find food. Instead of thanking her, he fumes that she should be constructing bonfires to alert rescue flights. And building a raft. Aghast, Linda tells him that she has been busy trying to find fresh water and sustenance. Frustrated, but determined, she announces that she is going off to hunt wild boar because they need protein. Before long, she is on the trail of a big CGI piggy. Even before she tries to spear him/her, piggy looks angry and malevolent. There is lots of red fluid showered onto Rachel McAdams during the hunt. When she returns with the kill, she tells the horrible boss that she kind of liked the hunt. I sort of get it because, although I don’t hunt or eat animals, it is thrilling to see a dog hunt down a thrown tennis ball.
The horrible boss isn’t grateful. From his prone position and with his disabled leg, he starts an argument with Linda. In fact, he fires her. The guy who hasn’t provided one thing for himself in his career or on the island. She laughs and leaves, telling him he’s on his own.
Now the horrible ex-boss will have to provide for himself. He gets dehydrated and crawls over to a log where he eats a big bug. Well, tries to eat; it’s so horrible that he gags. Now he considers eating crow, so to speak.
Meanwhile, Linda is making an art of survival. She struts around with a smile on her face, toting a big section of water-filled bamboo like it’s a Stanley cup. She fishes, she hunts, she weaves palm and thrashes rope-like fibers together to make a shelter that looks like a tiki hut. She made herself a hammock and a backpack. She expertly crafts a crown from palm fronds and places it on her head. Yasss, Queen!
Guess who comes limping back. Guess who tells him that she is now boss. Also, this boss girl is looking very Rachel McAdams-with-a-tan and her long hair rolling with beachy waves. She’s in command of her environment and no more kowtowing to the horrible ex-boss. Linda is really hitting her stride.
What follows is an uneasy truce. Linda tells the horrible ex-boss about which berries are poisonous. He opens up about his past. They smile at each other across from the campfire, eyeing each other suspiciously. Maybe one of them learns something about the island.
Send Help has its black comedy moments — the horror (spewing vomit, spewing blood) made me look away though. What was probably more horrifying than the action on the island was the action in the office. There are plenty of women in Linda’s shoes, dutifully making money for the company while the top jobs go to the men in the boys’ clubs. And the struggle against mean co-workers is real.
Send Help didn’t inspire me to learn survival skills, but it did motivate me to grow some non-poisonous berries along with my basil and mint.
P.S. Two other castaway stories… 1) the 1974 Italian comedy film Swept Away about a wealthy woman and a communist deckhand who end up on a deserted island. I haven’t seen the movie, so I’m not sure how sexist it is, but I’d try this rather than the 2002 version starring Madonna. 2) not set on an island, but in the wilderness, the show Yellowjackets follows a team of girls’ high school soccer players who resort to extreme measures to survive. Not a comedy.
Movie Loon’s Movie Review Shortcut:
Grade: B-
Cut to the Chase: A showcase for Rachel McAdams’ acting talents. The movie shares DNA with The Menu starring Anya Taylor-Joy and Ralph Fiennes.
Humor Highlight: The lead characters’ insincere apologies to each other after fighting.