You, Me & Tuscany

Synopsis: A down on her luck woman travels to Italy for inspiration. She gets inspired by the food and an attractive man.

You, Me & Tuscany investigates the interesting phenomenon of engaged women forgetting they are engaged whilst in the presence of a hotly handsome man. Regé-Jean Page as Michael is the attractive man in question. In You, Me & Tuscany, Halle Bailey is Brianna, the latest affianced person to find themselves starstruck by the British-Italian man. At least I suspect there are more.

Brianna, an aspiring chef (currently a housesitter) is very cute, so she can surely hold her own in the NYC dating scene. But Michael is on another level. She first spots him on arrival in a small town in Tuscany. In a food shop, he’s bought the sandwich she had her eye on. She follows him out in a hangry stupor, ready to upbraid him. Hey, you took my sandwich! He’s probably used to women and gay men following him in a trance-like state.  He just grins and tosses off a flippant remark before driving off.

By the way… Brianna impulsively booked the trip and is nearly broke. After a snafu, she lost a housesitting job and had nowhere to stay. She visited her best friend, Claire (Aziza Scott) at the hotel where she works reception, asking for a place to stay. She continued on to the hotel bar for a snack and drink where she ran into a handsome Italian man, Matteo (Lorenzo de Moor). They get to talking and he shares that he has a beautiful villa in Tuscany, Casa Luna, in the town of San Conessa. But he hasn’t visited in a year because his family keeps pressuring him to work at the family business, a restaurant and vineyard. But Matteo prefers to draw on the family coffers and not work.

Brianna decides, like she only has a month to live, that she needs to realize one of her dreams; a trip to Italy. Her friend tells her she’s being impractical. Nevertheless, she’s decided to head to the idyllic Tuscan town that Matteo showed her pix of.

But Brianna isn’t a good planner. She flies to Italy and takes a bus to Tuscany. When she gets a taxi ride from the bus station to the town, the cab driver, Lorenzo (Marco Calvani) tells her there’s a festival, so good luck finding lodgings. Guess where she decides to stay… a vacant villa, maybe?

What could go wrong when you are staying uninvited in a virtual stranger’s place? But it’s worth the risk, the villa is lovely and luxurious. She gets a good night’s sleep and awakens in the morning to the sound of the gardener working and singing. Soon after, she’s surprised by Matteo’s mom and nonna/grandma coming in to check on the place.

Now, Brianna is not a bad person, but maybe a bad housesitter. She did develop the habit of wearing the clothes and jewelry of the rich ladies she housesat for. She didn’t take anything, just sort of borrowed their lifestyle for the job’s duration.

Unlucky –or lucky—for her, she was swanning around the villa wearing a diamond ring that she found in a drawer when Matteo’s relatives appeared. While she’s sputtering to the women that Matteo told her to stay at his place, Nonna Alessia (Stefania Casini) asks: Why are you wearing my ring?! Good question. Matteo’s mom, Gabriella (Isabella Ferrari), has an aha moment: You are engaged to Matteo! Uh, okay, she’ll go with that. Yup, she’s ‘Anna’ the fiancée.

The family quickly arranges a welcome party and clutches her to their collective bosom. Much to her surprise, Michael the sandwich swiper shows up. Turns out he has connections to the family, one of which is running their vineyard. He offers to show her around, and they stop at the shop adjacent to the vineyards for a glass of wine. She shares that she had to quit culinary school because of a family crisis. Besides being gorgeous, this guy is really nice and low-key charming.

At this point, Anna has totally forgotten that she has a fiancé. Feeling good, she tells him she’s got to go out to the vineyard and have some grapes. He follows and they flirt. I mean, I can’t blame him either. They are two Black people, and he’s been raised in a small town in Italy without access to Black Love. They have a little moment. She even sings, reminding us all of how she, Halle Bailey, became the Little Mermaid.  But they both know she’s engaged. Or at least Michael remembers this. All hope for Anna is lost when the field sprinklers go off and she laughs that her hair is going to be ruined. Being a gallant man, Michael does the only thing that’s right; he strips off his shirt –in slo-mo- to cover her hair.

Later, back at the villa, she texts her bestie about the hot guy. Too bad she has a fake fiancé… Okay, so the screenplay is by a white couple (Kristin Engle and Ryan Engle). Imagine a line of theirs from her best friend in New York, like: Stay away from him! He thinks you are engaged! But once Black leads were cast, the line becomes: Girl! Stay away from him. He can’t be your boo, girl! 

But he is fiiiine (as the screenwriters might pen), so she continues to spend time with him. She gets in deeper with the family too. Matteo’s parents are super busy at their restaurant the kitchen because of all the tourists in town for the festival. Anna has put her chef aspirations on the back burner, so to speak, but she wants to help her fiancé’s family, so she gets to work in the restaurant kitchen. It turns out, she’s the worst cook ever! Just kidding, of course she’s brilliant.

We all know that love will win in the end because this is, after all, a rom-com. But the movie’s light suspense and comedy is in how Brianna can get unaffianced while staying in good with Michael and Matteo’s family. Her conscience is getting to her, but she does want the hot guy too.

Let this be a lesson to all the engaged women out there: you only know that you are truly in love if you find yourself in proximity to a man who looks like Regé-Jean Page, and you don’t forget you are pledged to another. Besides, he probably has a lover anyway. And if you are a white woman: Please have some respect for his right to Black Love, girrrl.

P.S. Directed by Kat Coiro

Movie Loon’s Movie Review Shortcut:

Grade:  C+

Cut to the Chase: Italy, attractive leads, average humor, cute romance.

Humor Highlight:  This is actually an unfunny running joke—occasionally a trolley of tourists have their driver stop when they see stunning Rege-Jean/Michael in the vineyard. They express awe of his hotness—We get it! You don’t have to actually tell us that Bridgerton’s Duke of Hastings is good looking.