Spider-Man: Brand New Day
Synopsis: The 4th in the Tom Holland Spider-Man movies. Someone is using their telepathic powers to break into government buildings that hold superhero intel. Peter pines for MJ while he fights off foes.
In Spider-Man: Brand New Day Peter Parker (Tom Holland) is a lonely young man. Part of Gen Z, he’s not alone in feeling alone. The poor Zoomers, Covid forcing them to sit in front of screens all day instead of going to school… summers alone @ home with AC, climate change making the outdoors too hot to meet up with friends outside… social media replacing in-person socializing, substituting pix on Insta and short phrases spit-out in texts. Speaking face-to-face is hard.
Peter Parker is especially alone because about five years ago, Dr. Strange imposed a forgetting spell on the population. (Peter had been outed as Spider-Man by Jake Gyllenhaal, the actor.) Now no one remembers Spider-Man’s identity. Peter decided that this is better for his crime stopping and safer for his best friend Ned (Jacob Batalon) and girlfriend MJ (Zendaya). Villains are always out to get him and even his loved ones, like Aunt May (Marisa Tomei). (I think she died of Covid in the last movie –no, it was some villain.)
I sympathize with Peter, deprived of companionship and romance. He has it even worse than the other Zoomers who cannot afford dating and meet non-Zoomers’ acknowledging nods or inquiries at stores with blank stares. Damn you, Zoomer! That’s a baby giggling at you—SMILE!
Peter is purposely avoiding connecting or hooking up. And to add insult to injury, while he’s been unemployed, MJ and Ned have graduated from MIT. Aye yi yi. Peter, get a job. Somewhere close by there is a bodega or dispensary hiring.
Peter as Spidey spends his time fighting crime in NYC. Peter, NYC has five boroughs, so why are you always in Queens or Manhattan? The Bronx, for example, could use some crime eradication (or arach-ication, haha). But I get it, everyone there is so loud. Spidey would have trouble hearing himself think.
In Brand New Day there is a mystery. And you might want to question who is friend and who is foe. Among the newbies is some guy named Frank (Jon Bernthal) who is a vigilante. And Sadie Sink shows up wearing a choppy red wig over her actual gorgeous red hair. Also, Florence Pugh appears as Yelena Belova. Yelena is Russian so I’m wondering if she knows Natasha Romanoff (Scarlett Johansson). I felt sorry for Miss Flo because her whole scene is spent neck deep in an indoor swimming pool. Her contract should’ve stipulated she be on a chaise instead.
Peter is investigating who is breaking into Department of Damage Control offices. In one instance, the mysterious gatecrasher telepathically hops from person to person until they are driving a tank into a city office. Turns out there are DODC offices all over, and the perpetrator is looking for something called V Max. DODC director Bill Metzger (Tramell Tillman) doesn’t have any suspects. Meanwhile, Spidey’s NYPD contact, Detective Jean DeWolff (Liza Colon-Zayas) keeps Spidey updated on NYC crime, conversing with him by cellphone on her many subway rides.
Peter approaches Bruce Banner aka the Incredible Hulk (Mark Ruffalo) where he teaches at Empire University. I don’t know if he is tenured or is just an adjunct professor. If he is the latter, I hope he doesn’t think too deeply about his relatively low earnings because the injustice may cause him to go Hulk. Peter sits in on one of his classes, where Banner lectures in a laidback fashion. I hope that none of the students are using AI to cheat because then he’d turn into Hulk and really frighten everyone with his smashing. Thankfully, there is no rage with the concomitant ripped clothing and destroyed masonry. I don’t think that Peter thought he’d get much useful info from Bruce, I think he was just lonely.
To torment himself, Peter goes to a big house party that MJ and Ned are at. At least it’s something to do while he’s not figuring out who is breaking into DODC buildings. Personally, Damage Control seems to share DNA with ICE, so I’m okay with someone trying to infiltrate and disrupt their actions.
Peter needs to start tending his own garden, imo. He’s getting blurry vision and his body has started to make sub-premium spider goo. Since he does not want to be riding the subway over the whole damn city instead of slinging webs to get around, Peter needs to go to a doctor about his health.
Maybe go to a zoo veterinarian. Uh oh… I just looked up the extent of spider treatment and it looks like beyond removing parasites and amputations of infected limbs (good news for you Peter, spiders limbs can grow back!), students don’t have much training in invertebrates in vet med school. Eek, I think I might faint. Hopefully, an adjustment in the heat and humidity of Peter’s ramshackle bedsit will ameliorate his condition.
Take heart, Zoomers. There are def other Gen Z people who have it worse than you—Peter Parker has no job, no friend prospects and the love of his life doesn’t know he exists. And, best of all, you are not part spider.
P.S. If newlyweds Zendaya and Tom Holland have a baby, I hope they name the child Parker.
P.P. S. Check out Movie Loon’s other Tom Holland Spider-Man movie reviews right below the Review Shortcut
Movie Loon’s Movie Review Shortcut:
Grade: B
Cut to the Chase: Some good action with Spidey fighting The Hand (a group of Ninja fighters, not a big hand)… well cast… strong production values…just lacking in exhilaration & I missed Peter Parker having his friend group.
Humor Highlight: The scene where Zendaya aka MJ walks right past former Disney Shake it Up co-star Bella Thorne like she never knew her. O wait, that didn’t happen, lol.
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