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Jurassic World

Blue
Cutie velociraptor, Blue, enjoying a laugh pre-Revolution. (Observed human tripping over own shoelaces.)

Synopsis: Dinos run amok at their theme park habitat

Jurassic World, the fourth installment in the Jurassic movie series, continues the saga of hubristic jailers (humans) and their innocent prisoners (dinosaurs). As per usual, a mega corporation endeavors to make another run at a theme park featuring the disenfranchised proto-lizards. Because, What could go wrong? The formula unfolds thusly: mix-up an assortment of greedy, naive and sinister people, a couple of potential heroes and lots and lots of dinosaurs.

All of the dinos are cute including the T-Rexes with their Godzillaesque bodies and adorable little arms. But oh, how our Jurassic Period friends are exploited! Juvenile triceratops are saddled and made to march around with child riders astride them. Ginormous carnivore dinos are forced to perform tricks for the masses if they want their dins. Will it be liberation through peaceful demonstration or open rebellion?

Jurassic World features a tightly wound operating manager, Claire (Bryce Dallas Howard) and a rugged dino trainer, Owen (Chris Pratt). They went on a date once but it didn’t work out because she is from Planet Square and he is from Planet Cool.

When Claire’s nephews come to visit, she is too busy purposefully clonking around in impractical high heels and salivating over profit sheets to spend time with them. Meanwhile, Owen manfully strides around in a distressed leather vest while cavorting with the velociraptors in his charge. He’s tough but also evolved enough to understand that they belong to Nature. Then some complete a-hole security guy struts up to Owen, boasting that he’ll turn them into dino-soldiers. A-hole laughs that Extinct animals have no rights! I can’t wait to see him shredded to bits when Owen tells the humongous new mixed species dinosaur what he said. She is about the size of an apartment building with minivan sized fangs. She is incarcerated in a high tech prison about a five minute walk from the thousands of weak, bumbling tourists. I think that she just might be the leader that her oppressed cousins need…

At the same time that the world’s most lethal dino is plotting her escape, Claire’s nephews (one of whom has totally shaggy Hobbit hair) are exploring the park’s savannah lands in a giant hamster ball.

No spoilers, but the future involves revolution… also: Owen racing with his velociraptors on a dirt bike, Claire running in heels for miles and miles, the nephews man-crushing on Owen and some very satisfying animal liberation. I have high hopes that Jurassic Park 5 will be a courtroom drama focusing on dinosaur rights.

Movie Overview

Grade: B+

Cut to the Chase: Dinos, theme park mayhem, stock characters —Jurassic World serves them up with panache

Comedy Highlight: When Owen informs Claire’s young nephews that he is the “alpha”of the velociraptors and they swoon

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